The opposite of what you’ve heard right!?! Most dating theory never stops banging the “you’re the prize” drum. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t entirely disagree with that mindset. It’s definitely important to realise your value and self-worth, in doing so others will realise your value too.
However, too often there’s a certain arrogance attached to the whole concept of “being the prize”.
Guys start to be way too uncomprimising and even begin to act plain wierd, asking questions like, “why didn’t she show up on time? I’m the prize!”, and then trying to figure out a punishment!
Furthermore, when the whole focus is on you being the prize there’s no room for any appreciation of the woman. And guess what? All any woman really wants is to be genuinely appreciated! Women crave to be authentically recognised as being special.
It’s actually very easy to recognise a woman for being special in some way, if you’re paying attention that is! However, if your focus is soley on yourself and how to project yourself as “the prize” then it’ll be a lot more difficult, and you might just completely miss the boat.
Women are the most amazing creatures on the planet, on some level you surely recognise this. What’s more, each one is absolutely unique in many ways. If you pay attention you’ll notice a lot of amazing things about the woman you relate to. In doing so, and in expressing just how you feel about these amazing qualities you’ll make that woman feel very special indeed.
You’ll make her feel like “the prize” that she is. As a natural consequence of this she’ll be filled with positive emotions when she’s around you and be compelled to spend more time with you.
I’ve noticed and genuinely complimented women on a whole spectrum of things. This ranges from things as superficial as the way a woman walks to things such as the way a woman radiates softness and femininity.
Since my focus isn’t on myself and “being the prize” I tend to have my focus on the woman and I see if there’s anything I really like about her, and if there is I appreciate her for it. And if I don’t find anything it’s a pretty good indication that this isn’t the right woman for me and that I should move on.
Like most things when it comes to having a happy, healthy dating life it all comes down to being genuine. Once you’ve become exhausted with the high wire act of trying to be “the prize” you can relax into the simplicity of appreciating the woman that you’re with.
What you might find, unlike when you apply most dating theory, is that it doesn’t feel forced or unnatural. In fact it’s the most natural thing in the world!
Want to get your dating life handled?Sebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, personal coaching could be exactly what you need.