However, I wouldn’t go so far as to say that they need help beyond anything other then looking within themselves honestly and earnestly. You state that there’s nothing wrong with dating multiple women and you’re right, there’s nothing criminal about it. However, as someone who has had both this experience and the experience of being in love with just one woman it’s absolutely clear which one is more satisfying. Dating multiple women is satisfying to the ego whilst being in love with just one woman is satisfying to the soul. There is no comparison. The former is the activity of a boy and the latter is the activity of a man. Anyone who is willing to be absolutely honest and humble with themselves will see this. It needs no further intervention.

Luckily there are a growing number of companies in the dating industry looking beyond the predominant ideology that sees multiple sexual relationships as what a man needs. They are not the mainstream companies but they are growing in number and size. Other than Authentic Man Within you’ll find a few links in the blogroll that point towards deeper solutions to what truly satisfies a man.

I think many other “ladies men” are afraid of confronting other issues in their lives. Because they feel stuck in life, they seek control what they think that they can–their dating lives. I’ve always cringed at terms like “sex addiction” and “romance addiction”, because I feel that at the core there’s nothing wrong with dating multiple people. However, the more and more I look at it, the more I see that many guys use romance as a way of escaping their otherwise mediocre life (like other forms of addiction). These guys need help beyond just pick up coaches.

I realize now how ambiguous my statement was. I agree with you that fear is probably the biggest turn off for women. It shows that a guy is more focused on himself than one making the girl feel good. Which is really what I meant — most guys communicate their feelings for a girl through nervous verbal or non-verbal clues (e.g. an awkward “hi” or smile).

Either way — it’s how you communicate with girls that really matters. Simply revealing your feelings/intentions to a girl isn’t going to create attraction. The way one communicates should actively engage her imagination. You are essentially right: it’s not the revealing of your intentions that creates attraction/connection — it’s the courage to do so. Courage shows imagination and sticking power.

I think we agree for the most part — my main point was simply that engaging a girl’s imagination is really the key to attraction — and not necessarily having the whole package. I’m not sure if there is any one set of qualities one must have to be attractive to women. Being an authentic man, for me, means putting all your natural qualities into play with every sexual encounter.

Anyways, thanks again for responding! I appreciate your insight.

Charm

“Nice guys, esp. when they like a girl, make it pretty clear what their intentions or feelings are, and thus don’t leave much up to the girl’s imagination. That, I think, is really why girls like them, but aren’t attracted to them.”

In my experience the more courage I have to express my intentions and feelings, the more attraction and connection flourishes between myself and the woman I interact with. Women are not looking for men who are afraid or unable to express themselves, quite the contrary.