Some of the most common questions guys ask when it comes to meeting women is “what do I say?”, “how do I start a conversation?”.
There are various different schools of thought in the dating industry about the best way to start a conversation. In the main what most ‘experts’ advocate as the best way to start a conversation ranges from bad to really bad.
One methodology is what is known as the indirect approach, whereby a guy approaches a woman in such a way that he doesn’t convey his intent. Essentially, an indirect approach involves fabricating an ulterior motive for starting a conversation.
For instance, “hey, me and my friends were just talking and we wanted to get your opinion on something”. This kind of approach is drained of any power or authenticity because not only are you lying to the woman about your motives but your also lying to yourself on a subtle level, your telling yourself “I don’t have the balls to say exactly what’s on my mind”.
Another methodology is to be cocky and funny on the approach. In other words, say something that you think she will find funny or react to in some way. Whilst making women laugh is a great way to get into a conversation, the mindset behind this kind of approach is fundamentally flawed.
The reason that it is flawed is because you are trying to make her laugh or react. YOU are trying to say something that SHE will find funny. If you believe you have to try to impress her in some way then you have lost before you’ve even started.
So what’s the secret? What’s the magic formula?
The secret is… there is no secret!
You simply awaken the courage that lies within you and you walk over and say exactly what’s on your mind. If that means that you have to walk up to a woman and say, “Excuse me, I know this is random but… I HAD to come and meet you”, then that’s exactly what you do.
Alternatively, it might mean that you’re in a bar and you start a conversation by saying something that amuses YOU. You might say something along the lines of, “hey, you’ve been standing next to me for about ten minutes and you haven’t even tried to chat me up or grab my bum so I’m just going to introduce myself”.
The open secret is to be authentic in everything you do. Be honest about your intentions and amuse yourself.
Want to get your dating life handled?
Sebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. Sebastian helps men develop the comfort and ease to express themselves with raw honesty. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, the Personal Coaching Course could be exactly what you need.