The age old question… Where do I take my date? Conventional wisdom will tell you that going for dinner or to the cinema is the best bet for a first date.
The problem with going to the cinema is that for the entire two hours that you watch the film there will be little or no interaction between the two of you. In other words, little or no chance for you to get to know each other or create a connection. The net result of going to the cinema for the first date is that she still doesn’t really feel that she knows you and you’re no closer to forming any kind of physical relationship. In fact, even getting a second date becomes less likely.
Going for dinner is a better idea but still has its limitations. The benefit of going for dinner is that you have a chance to talk and to get to know each other. It’s a million times better than the cinema. However, dinner is often a little too formal and a bit too much for a first date. When you talk to a woman on the phone and you tell her you’re booked into a fancy restaurant for a first date it might seem a little try hard.
The dating industry has gone on to suggest new alternatives for dates which, unfortunately, have the same flaws as conventional ideas. It is believed that going and doing something wild like bungee jumping would be a great idea for a first date. There is an element of excitement to something like this and it could be a wonderful idea. However, it’s a whole lot of investment to put in a first date, particularly if the two of you don’t really know each other too well. Furthermore, it isn’t particularly conducive to getting to know each other.
So, what’s the answer?
The answer is blindingly simple. You go for a drink at a local bar or cafe!
“But that’s boring!”, is the usual response to this suggestion. In fact, going for a drink is as boring as you are. If you are unable to carry a conversation, unable to get the woman you’re with to open up and unable to create an emotional connection, then yes, it will be boring! It is these skills that will get help you to establish a relationship.
Going for a drink at a local bar or cafe for a first date has many advantages:
1) It’s a low investment strategy. It’s very easy for someone to comply with.
2) It allows you the opportunity to really get to know each other. Since relationships are formed on the basis of the quality of time you spend together and not the quantity of time this is a big bonus. The quality of time you spend together is dependent on how well you get to know each other.
3) Local bars and cafe’s are, well… local! That means that you’re not far away from going somewhere else you know if things are running smoothly. If things are going well you can go and grab some food together afterwards, or even going go back to your place.
Want to get your dating life handled?
Sebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. Sebastian helps men develop the comfort and ease to express themselves with raw honesty. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, the Personal Coaching Course could be exactly what you need.