Guys often find themselves running out of things to say when talking to an attractive woman. Although, this situation never occurs when talking to a friend. Why? You should never run out of things to say because you have a lifetime of experience to share.
The thing that prevents guys from finding the right words when talking to a woman is their inability to remain ‘in the moment.’ But what does it mean to be ‘in the moment?’ For most people it sounds just like an abstract concept.
It becomes easier to understand if we put it into a context we are familiar with. For instance, what kind of negative thoughts occur when you’re talking to a woman and you’re feeling nervous?
Two common thoughts are; 1) What should I say next?, and, 2) Was what I just said good enough? Did she like it?
Everyone has probably had the experience of thinking these things at one time or another and the resulting effect which is to fumble our words. Both of these examples are cases in which we negate the present moment.
In the first example we are thinking about the future and in the second we are thinking about the past.
The fact is, that all our creativity comes from a space of no thought, from completely accepting each moment as it comes. When you’re talking with a friend there isn’t so much of an internal dialogue, you are more present, more ‘in the moment.’
This is something which must be awakened in your conversations with attractive women. But how do you do this? How can you remove your internal dialogue?
The trick is not to try and remove those thoughts but to merely be AWARE and ACCEPT them. In being aware and accepting those thoughts that come into your head when you’re talking to an attractive woman they no longer become multiplied and no longer create so much stress and resistance.
Any thought that comes into your head is temporary. Once you are aware of a thought and you can accept it it will disappear, it is only resistance that causes a thought to persist.
“What you resist persists” -Unknown
Through practising awareness and acceptance you will return yourself to the present moment, the source of all your creativity and freedom. Consequently, the social genius that is within you will be free to act.
Once you’re fully associated with the present moment you will no longer have to think about what to say, you’ll just say it, and everything you say will be just fine.
A good analogy is given in the film The Matrix when Morpheus is training Neo and he says “Stop TRYING to hit me and just hit me.” Neo is trying to figure out how to hit Morpheus when all he needs to do is act spontaneously using his own innate ability.
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Sebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. Sebastian helps men develop the comfort and ease to express themselves with raw honesty. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, the Personal Coaching Course could be exactly what you need.