There is no magic pill to take to reach the level of success with women that you desire. There’s no video, no book, no tuition that will act as a magic pill to take you there, though these can all help. Becoming great requires real life experience which takes time, commitment, dedication and a thick skin.
However, there is one thing that will accelerate this process quicker than anything else as far as I can see. Here are some examples of scenarios we regularly encounter and possible reactions to them:
You got three phone numbers whilst out. The women aren’t the loves of your life and its possible that the numbers will flake cause they were short interactions, but it was very validating getting three numbers in one night.
Option A= Don’t ring any of the numbers cause you risk losing the validation you got from getting the numbers if they flake. You can rationalise this in terms of the women not being that special.
Option B= Ring all the numbers regardless of the fact that they may all flake so you can practice talking to women on the phone and become comfortable with that. You don’t feel invalidated by the flakes, instead you interpret it as a learning experience and figure out how the approach might have been better.
Your talking to a girl and feel like you want to kiss her but all of her friends are still around and its quite possible she’ll reject the kiss in front of them.
Option A= Don’t go for the kiss cause you don’t want to get rejected in front of lots of people. You can rationalise that there will be a better time later.
Option B= Go for the kiss even if you might get blown out cause it shows that your a man who acts in the moment. Even if she turns away you will be unreactive cause she’s not rejecting you she’s just not ready yet.
You see a woman that’s really difficult to approach; one woman with five guys. You perceive it to be almost impossible to make something happen but the woman is really beautiful.
Option A= Don’t do it cause there are other, slightly less attractive women. You can rationalise that its just a waste of time so why get blown out for nothing.
Option B= Do it because it’s a challenge and if nothing else you’ll learn to handle social pressure.
You’re in the supermarket and you see a really beautiful woman, just your type but you don’t have much time so you’ll have to be very direct and there’s lots of people about who will hear you if you get rejected.
Option A= Just forget it, being rejected in front of lots of people in the day will only ruin your day. After all, you came to shop not to meet women.
Option B= Talk to the woman cause it’ll raise your game and lower your inhibition in similar situations in the future. You don’t care about being rejected cause at least you had the balls to go for something you wanted.
I could go on listing scenarios like this all day but I think you get the picture. So whats the difference between the coward who always picks option A and the champion who always pick option B…….?
The champion never, ever seeks to protect his ego whereas the coward always seeks ego protection over putting his balls on the line. To me this is the difference that makes the difference in the acceleration of your social ability.
Imagine if you always talked to every attractive woman you saw in the day or night and you always escalated regardless of the logistics of the situation cause you never sought to protect your ego. The progress you would make would be phenomenal.
If you look at the main things that are holding you back right now I’m willing to bet that ego protection is somewhere near the core unless your seriously advanced. If you’re going to ask yourself to make just one commitment in your self-development journey then let it be to drop your ego. Take this advice and see where it takes you:
Lose your ego, raise your game!
Want to get your dating life handled?Sebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. Sebastian helps men develop the comfort and ease to express themselves with raw honesty. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, the Personal Coaching Course could be exactly what you need.