Conveying your identity is one of the most overlooked parts of meeting and attracting women, and there’s two main reasons for this. First, guys are so overly concerned with trying to be cool and funny that they forget to paint a picture of who they are and what they stand for. Second, some guys don’t even know who they are and what they stand for, consequently they’re incapable of showing it.
Trying to attract and connect with women without projecting who you are is like trying to go rowing without a paddle, or trying to go fishing without a fishing rod. Something integral is missing from the operation.
In order to build a really solid emotional connection with a woman it’s best to get her to open up and reveal herself to you. In order to get her to do this it’s important for you to be able to open up also, and reveal yourself. This is when you need to convey your identity.
Commonly, I might ask a woman deep questions like, “what’s your passion in life?”, “where do you see yourself in five years time?”. And sometimes, she isn’t ready to open up straight away or she can’t think of exactly what to say. At this point I open up about myself and tell her about my passions and my ambitions for the future. These are topics on which I can talk at length, and really paint a picture about the kind of human being I am.
Sometimes I will go back as far as some of my childhood experiences and talk about how they shaped later events in my life and how I became the person I am today. Consequently, women will feel they know me very well and be confident to open up about themselves. It is during these moments that you can really build a connection with someone because you begin share things that are more than just superficial. However, without conveying your identity it is very difficult for this to happen.
So, before you go on another journey out of the house trying to meet, attract and connect with women, ask your self “who am I?”. If you cant answer any of the following questions comprehensively you’re going to have to trouble, not just with women, but in life:
-What is your passion? What is the one thing you love to do?
-What are your ambitions? What do you hope to achieve in life and why?
-What do you value most in your life?
-What experiences shaped your current values and beliefs?
When you can answer all of these questions at length and you acquire the social skill to paint a really clear picture of who you are then you’ll notice something changes in your relationships. When women who you interact with see how clear your sense of identity is they’ll begin to qualify themselves to you, in other words, they’ll begin to demonstrate ways in which they match up to who you are and what you believe in.
When this begins to happen you will have completely transcended the guy who “tries” to impress women and instead you’ll have become the kind of man that women try to impress.
Want to get your dating life handled?Sebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. Sebastian helps men develop the comfort and ease to express themselves with raw honesty. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, the Personal Coaching Course could be exactly what you need.