What attracts women to men is one of the most commonly misunderstood phenomena in society. When men are asked what women find attractive they usually think that looks and money are the key factors.
In reality this is incorrect. The key factors are courage, charm, charisma and decisiveness. I’m not saying that looks and money don’t help, or that sometimes, some women won’t do almost anything to get money. I’m just saying that looks and money aren’t the things that will help you secure high quality sexual relationships consistently.
Those who are successful with women know this through experience, and those who have looks and money but are unsuccessful know it also.
Evolutionary psychology helps us to explain why this is so. Our genetic make-up hasn’t changed since we lived in small, tribe-like, hunter-gatherer societies. So, while culture has evolved so rapidly that we no longer face the same social pressures, our brains are still geared to this kind of environment.
To give an example, our brains are still wired to over consume sweet, salty and fatty foods because these were once scarce commodities and so it would be beneficial to survival to consume large amounts when they are accessed. However, now we live in a society where these foods are abundant but we still have the craving to act in the same way, hence the high prevalence of obesity.
In terms of sexual attraction our male brains are wired to be attracted to replication value, or the genetic quality that a female shows. This is visually displayed by a symmetrical face, a good waist-to-hip ratio, and pert breasts, or, in other words, a females physical attractiveness.
The reason that we are mainly concerned with her replication value/looks is because traditionally in hunter-gatherer societies it has been the principal role of the male to provide for the family. Since males have the survival of the family taken care of our primary concern is good genetic quality for our offspring.
For women, their sexual attraction circuits are wired differently. They are looking for survival value, or, in other words, character traits that are likely to help to provide for the family. This is determined by who can provide the most resources and what kind of qualities that person might possess.
These qualities are likely to include courage, decisiveness, charm and charisma. If you think about the person in a tribe who is likely to provide the most survival value and resources to his family it will be the leader of the tribe, and the leader of the tribe is likely to possess exactly these qualities.
You only have to look as far as the latest dating websites to verify that this is true. You won’t find too many adverts by females looking for males who are not courageous, indecisive and not very funny.
The good news for every male on the planet is that even if your not good looking or don’t have a lot of money you can still succeed in your dating life. The truth is that everyone has some base level of courage, decisiveness, charm and charisma, and that base level can be developed to whatever level you choose. All it takes is a little time, practice and dedication.
Merry Christmas 😉
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Sebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. Sebastian helps men develop the comfort and ease to express themselves with raw honesty. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, the Personal Coaching Course could be exactly what you need.