The dating industry is a sad place at times. It’s true that there are a few good coaches out there helping men to be more courageous, charming, authentic and honest. However, there are even more that teach men to be afraid to express their intentions, to play on women’s insecurities, and to be inauthentic and dishonest. In fact, for every great coach out there I’d say there was at least two bad ones.
That’s why I want to talk about being a “real” man, the kind of man who finds it effortless to attract women. Do you think a George Clooney or a Brad Pitt would find it in anyway necessary to be dishonest in order to charm a lady? Of course not! Neither would they require false pretences to start a conversation, or to play on a woman’s insecurities to make her attracted to him. And yet this is exactly what some companies will teach their clients.
Of course, none of us “average Joe’s” have celebrity status, but this isn’t exactly what attracts a woman. It’s about being courageous, charming, charismatic and decisive. When you have these qualities you don’t need to be anything else but direct and honest.
Some talk about “stealth attraction”, or chatting a woman up in such a way that she’s unaware you’re chatting her up. For guys who are trying to find their feet in the success with women game this will land them flat on their face.
Women are the most perceptive creatures on the planet and they can spot a ‘pick-up’ attempt a mile away. Check out “The Female Brain” by Louann Brizendine to find out how women manage to be so much more perceptive than males when reading social situations.
For those more socially skilled males who have been involved in the dating industry for a while there’s no denying that they can make this kind of “stealth attraction” work. I’ve seen it myself, many times. However, it shelters them from developing any true courage. None of them have the courage to clearly state their intentions, and if they were asked to it would scare the life out of them. Is this really who you want to be?
I’m operating from a completely different mindset, a mindset of radical honesty and true courage. AKA, being a “real” man. My mindset and the mindset I like to encourage in other men when interacting with the fairer sex is this:
“I’m chatting you up, we both know it… and we’re both loving it!”
No bullshit! Just authenticity.
Want to get your dating life handled?Sebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. Sebastian helps men develop the comfort and ease to express themselves with raw honesty. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, the Personal Coaching Course could be exactly what you need.