The UK's most AUTHENTIC Dating Coach in London & Dating Coach for Men
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Youtube
  • Rss
Dating & Lifestyle Coaching for Men
  • About
  • Coaching
  • Contact
  • Subscribe
  • Blog
  • Videos
Search the site...
Home» Blog » Psychology » Why having a selfish mindset will ruin your approaches…

Why having a selfish mindset will ruin your approaches…

Posted by Sebastian - January 13, 2010 - Psychology
1

Often when a man approaches a woman it’s a little bit lackluster.

The approach and subsequent conversation doesn’t have the confidence or charm needed to really get the woman to open up. This is commonly down to the selfish mindset ingrained in the minds of men.

All that goes through a guy’s mind when he is talking to her is how HE would really like to spend more time with her, how HE would really like to get to know her, and how HE would really like to have sex with her. Since all his thoughts are about how HE will benefit he converses in such away that he is not adding anything to the conversation, but instead just taking from the conversation.

This kind of mindset often results in a question train whereby the guy just asks one question after another and doesn’t add anything in the form of statements. This kind of conversation runs dry very, very quickly and the woman on the receiving end soon makes her excuses to leave.

In order to avoid this it’s important to have a win-win mindset. My mindset when I approach is that I’m going to win because I’m going to get to know this beautiful woman, but also that she’s going to win because she is going to get to know me. It may sound somewhat egotistical but I genuinely believe that any woman who gets to spend time with me is a lucky woman because I have a lot to offer. This is called realising your self-worth!

I believe I will benefit from a woman in all the same ways other men do. However, I also assume SHE is going to enjoy spending time with me and SHE  is going to enjoy getting to know me. Consequently, I am always adding to the interaction instead of just taking.

During a conversation I will not just ask questions, but also joke, and tease, and make statements. This helps to showcase my personality and reveal things about me so that she can benefit from my presence as much as I benefit from hers.

It’s important to believe in what you have to offer as a human being and be confident enough to show it. This article may be of benefit to you in cultivating this belief:

Four essential questions to help recognise your identity and value

When you believe in yourself and what you have to offer and you see every interaction you have as a win-win scenario, you will begin to enjoy much better interactions.

Want to get your dating life handled?

Sebastian-Callow-Dating-Coach-LondonSebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. Sebastian helps men develop the comfort and ease to express themselves with raw honesty. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, the Personal Coaching Course could be exactly what you need.

One comment on “Why having a selfish mindset will ruin your approaches…”

  1. Virgil says:
    January 14, 2010 at 9:26 pm

    Good posts. I read every one. If you can spare an evening, the guys would love to see you at our house party this Sat night, 16th Jan. Text for the address. Rob

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Newsletter Sign-Up

Facebook Page

Article Categories

  • Dating Tips
  • Lifestyle
  • Psychology
  • Relationships
  • Sex

Must Read Articles

  • Why courage is better than confidence…
  • The pain of relationship and why it inspires your growth…
  • 4 ways you can be better at sex right away…
  • The best way to avoid the friends zone…
  • Why internet dating is your fault…
  • Why not all nice guys finish last…
  • Why you should never settle for less…
  • 5 reasons you don’t have a girlfriend and what to do about it…
  • The key difference between being a boy or a being a MAN…
  • What is freedom? Monogamy vs Polyamory…
  • How to penetrate a woman within 30 seconds of meeting…
  • Psychedelic drugs (or medicines) and self-development…

Blogroll

  • 5 Rhythms
  • David Deida
(c) 2015 Authentic Man Within - Dating Coach London & Dating Coach for Men, by Sebastian Callow