Often when a man approaches a woman it’s a little bit lackluster.
The approach and subsequent conversation doesn’t have the confidence or charm needed to really get the woman to open up. This is commonly down to the selfish mindset ingrained in the minds of men.
All that goes through a guy’s mind when he is talking to her is how HE would really like to spend more time with her, how HE would really like to get to know her, and how HE would really like to have sex with her. Since all his thoughts are about how HE will benefit he converses in such away that he is not adding anything to the conversation, but instead just taking from the conversation.
This kind of mindset often results in a question train whereby the guy just asks one question after another and doesn’t add anything in the form of statements. This kind of conversation runs dry very, very quickly and the woman on the receiving end soon makes her excuses to leave.
In order to avoid this it’s important to have a win-win mindset. My mindset when I approach is that I’m going to win because I’m going to get to know this beautiful woman, but also that she’s going to win because she is going to get to know me. It may sound somewhat egotistical but I genuinely believe that any woman who gets to spend time with me is a lucky woman because I have a lot to offer. This is called realising your self-worth!
I believe I will benefit from a woman in all the same ways other men do. However, I also assume SHE is going to enjoy spending time with me and SHE is going to enjoy getting to know me. Consequently, I am always adding to the interaction instead of just taking.
During a conversation I will not just ask questions, but also joke, and tease, and make statements. This helps to showcase my personality and reveal things about me so that she can benefit from my presence as much as I benefit from hers.
It’s important to believe in what you have to offer as a human being and be confident enough to show it. This article may be of benefit to you in cultivating this belief:
Four essential questions to help recognise your identity and value
When you believe in yourself and what you have to offer and you see every interaction you have as a win-win scenario, you will begin to enjoy much better interactions.
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Sebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. Sebastian helps men develop the comfort and ease to express themselves with raw honesty. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, the Personal Coaching Course could be exactly what you need.
Good posts. I read every one. If you can spare an evening, the guys would love to see you at our house party this Sat night, 16th Jan. Text for the address. Rob