There’s a fundamental difference I’ve noticed recently between guys who are really successful with women and those who aren’t. It’s abundantly clear that all the guys I know who have a lot of women in their life don’t take themselves too seriously. In contrast, a lot of the guys who I meet that are really struggling to get a date just can’t seem to loosen up.
Guys who are afraid to make themselves look a little bit silly are unable to crack a joke or take any risks. As a result of this women find themselves repelled from these guys because being around them is about as exciting as watching paint dry.
When you don’t take yourself too seriously it opens up the creative freedom for you to express yourself exactly as you feel like expressing yourself in any given moment. Conversely, if your always worrying about what other people think then your behaviour will become so restricted that you’ll have almost no freedom of expression whatsoever!
I was talking to a close friend of mine recently who happens to be a very successful ladies man and I was picking his brain on how he goes about opening up a conversation with a beautiful woman. Some of the conversation starters he’s used in the past are absolutely ridiculous! So ridiculous that there’s no way a woman wouldn’t find herself laughing upon being approached by him.
I wasn’t surprised to find out that my friend was successful as a result of acting ridiculous because one of the most common things I hear from women I’ve dated is that they enjoy being around me because I’m playful and silly. Women are emotional creatures and the more positive emotions they experience in your presence the more likely they’ll want to spend time with you.
“Charisma is the intangible that makes people want to follow you, to be around you, to be influenced by you.” -Roger Dawson
If your someone who finds it a little difficult to loosen up then start experimenting with not taking yourself too seriously. Start a few conversations in spontaneous, creative and silly ways and don’t be afraid to make a fool of yourself. You’ll probably find it really liberating! And you might just end up really engaging people, as opposed to boring them half to death!
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Sebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. Sebastian helps men develop the comfort and ease to express themselves with raw honesty. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, the Personal Coaching Course could be exactly what you need.
Thanks Seb! Good stuff! I’m going to the Halloween Party tomorrow and have fun being silly!! Men who are comfortable in their own skin are able to be silly without being to annoying!
Thanks for the reply Puma. Your exactly right there’s a difference between being playfull and being annoying. Being annoying is usually the result of doing something to try and impress someone, whereas being playfull is the result of amusing yourself. When you go out and amuse yourself because you don’t care what others think people are drawn to this, you begin to exude a magnetic presence that reels others in.