Silence…
It’s golden!
Unless of course it’s an uncomfortable silence, in which case it’s… well, uncomfortable!
One of the things guys really struggle with is not feeling comfortable, and consequently always feeling that they need to fill the gap with the sound of their voice. This leads to two problems.
First, it leads them to blabber on nervously about some topic of conversation not even worth talking about because they believe it’s better than being silent. Second, it leads to a feeling that something needs to be said but a shutting down of all the creative resources… aka, an uncomfortable silence!
The fact is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being silent for a moment or two. Particularly if this moment is accompanied by strong eye contact and a feeling of deep comfort. In fact, this can be very powerful indeed! As the old saying goes:
“Stillness speaks!”
If you can be comfortable with yourself, the woman who you’re with, and the silence between you, it will communicate several important qualities.
It takes a level of courage and confidence to just allow the silence to take shape. Conversely, always feeling the need to fill the gap indicates a level of unnecessary control, a lack of confidence and an unwillingness to take a risk.
In fact, it is often in these silences that sexual tension can build up just before a kiss. This is particularly common if you can maintain eye contact. It’s also common that a comfortable silence can build a deep rapport between the two of you because typically, in everyday life, the only people that we can really remain a comfortable silence are our close friends, family and those who we share an intimate relationship with. If you you can share a comfortable silence together it communicates that you share a deeper relationship.
So, next time you’re having an interaction with an attractive woman and you feel the need to fill the void with some unnecessary speech why not try and just relax and allow a little silence to unfold. Who knows what might happen, you might build a little sexual tension, you might establish a little deep rapport, or something really worthwhile might come to mind that you can talk about. The only way to find out is to take the risk.
It might also be the case that the silence remains uncomfortable. However, the only way to become comfortable in situations that usually make you uncomfortable is to be in them more often.
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Sebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. Sebastian helps men develop the comfort and ease to express themselves with raw honesty. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, the Personal Coaching Course could be exactly what you need.