When you see a beautiful woman you’re always waiting for the perfect moment to go and say hello. However, the truth is that there never is a perfect moment. You make it the perfect moment! And you do that by being spontaneous!
Sure, your head might be filled with all kinds of ideas about what might happen. Maybe she’s waiting for her boyfriend, maybe she’s not in a good mood, maybe she’s about to go somewhere… and maybe a spaceship will come crashing down on both of you! The truth is you just don’t know, so why let your assumptions hold you back?
I was out with a couple of friends recently and one of them told me he was really struggling with approaching women. When I asked him why, he told me that he assumed that all the women he was attracted to had boyfriends. So, I asked him four basic questions that I learned from Byron Katie (Byron Katie’s website).
Me: Do you know that’s it’s true that all the women you want to approach have boyfriends?
Him: No, not really!
Me: Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
Him: No!
Me: As a result of holding that belief what does that do to your life?
Him: It means I can’t approach women.
Me: And if you held the opposite belief, that all these women don’t have boyfriends, what would that do?
Him: I could approach any woman!
This set of questions is a powerful tool that can shine a light on all the beliefs that limit us, and it can be used for much deeper investigations too.
“I don’t let go of my concepts, I meet them with understanding and they let go of me” -Byron Katie
The fact is that you never really know exactly what’s going to happen next, and in reality, this is really good news. It means you can use your spontaneity! To a large extent, the more spontaneous you are the more powerful your approach is. Being spontaneous communicates courageousness, decisiveness, assuredness and the willingness to take a chance.
You only have to look in the local dating adverts to see that these are all qualities that women are desperately looking for. You won’t find to many adverts for guys who are not courageous, indecisive, unsure of themselves, and unwilling to take risks.
It’s often in the strangest situations that your approach will carry the most power and authenticity, because it’s really spontaneous! I remember witnessing a friend of mine approach a woman who had been cycling along the road and was momentarily stopped at some traffic lights. In my head I was thinking, “oh dear, this simply isn’t going to work!”.
The funny thing was that she absolutely loved it! Why? Because it was completely spontaneous!
Whatever is happening for you or for the woman that you want to meet you can always give it a shot! It doesn’t matter if your half way through eating a sandwich or if she’s with her mother. Make it the right moment. Let go of your assumptions and be spontaneous!
Want to get your dating life handled?
Sebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. Sebastian helps men develop the comfort and ease to express themselves with raw honesty. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, the Personal Coaching Course could be exactly what you need.