Today I want to remind everybody of a harsh truth. For some people it might seem like a bitter pill to swallow but the simple fact is that if you don’t have the love life you desire IT’S YOUR FAULT!
You need to recognise this for yourself otherwise things will never improve. If you don’t recognise this you will keep attributing your lack of success to not being good looking enough, not having enough money, women being bitches, etc, etc.
To be honest, you could come up with hundreds of “poor me” stories or lame excuses why you don’t have what you desire. However, no one really cares about all the external factors that you blame for your lack of success, so you may as well face up to the truth. The truth is that you are responsible!
I was out on a date with a young woman a few weeks back who had curves in all the right places and a beautiful smile, in other words the kind of woman who gets approached a lot! In fact she was explaining to me that she gets “hit on” all the time and that when she doesn’t respond receptively sometimes guys get angry about it.
Why do the guys get angry?
Because they’re blaming her for their lack of success. These are her exact words, “it’s not my fault, it’s just that maybe they didn’t approach me in the right way!”. An appreciation of the fact that the outcome of an interaction is almost exclusively due to how I interact and not any external circumstances, is something I attribute most of my success to.
When I was trying to get my dating life on track I used to go out and approach a lot of women. At first I was very unsuccessful but my success grew with time because I always took responsibility for the outcome of my interactions. Sure, there are many different factors at play in any interaction but there is only one constant, and that is you.
If you are regularly receiving comments like, “oh, I’m busy”, or, “I need to go now”, it’s because you are doing something wrong. If all your relationships end prematurely and women tell you it’s because there “wasn’t enough of a connection”, it’s because of you.
The only way you can possibly grow and develop as a human being is by taking responsibility. Whilst there are certain things outside of your control, eg, your physical attractiveness, this in no way limits how successful you can be. You are not your looks!
Take any successful person and look at how often they blame external circumstances for their lack of success. How many times can you remember Michael Jordan blaming his teammates or the referee for not winning a game? Never!
Conversely, you will hear unsuccessful people attributing every other possible reason for their lack of success so long as they don’t have to face up to the responsibility themselves. It takes a big man to accept responsibility for the current state of affairs but acceptance of that responsibility is the first step in the right direction. Most people never accept this, and consequently never succeed.
If you can be big enough to accept responsibility for your situation then you’re well on the way to improving it!
Want to get your dating life handled?
Sebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. Sebastian helps men develop the comfort and ease to express themselves with raw honesty. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, the Personal Coaching Course could be exactly what you need.