Last week I talked a little about taking responsibility and how a lot of people fail to take responsibility, in favour of telling “poor me” stories about why they couldn’t succeed. This “poor me” mentality is the polar opposite of being grateful. The “poor me” mentality is focused on not having enough, not being good enough, not having the right circumstances, etc, etc.
Essentially this mentality is focused on scarcity and the feelings associated with it. Conversely, the attitude of gratitude focuses on all the things that we do have and the feelings associated with that.
It’s a tale of scarcity vs. abundance! Feeling like you have what you need or feeling like you don’t have what you need. Feeling grateful or feeling like a poor, little, silly sausage who just couldn’t get a break in life.
The funny thing is that some people have all the right circumstances in life but they tend to focus on what’s wrong, and then everything somehow falls apart. Meanwhile, others who seem to have nothing in life but focus on the positives somehow seem to make a success of things. This is a common pattern in life and something we can all take note of.
I’m gonna go right ahead and quote Jesus, that’s right, Jesus of Nazareth! The man upon which the whole calendar system was built once said:
“For whoever has, more will be given. But whoever doesn’t have, even what he has will be taken away from him.”
To be honest I have no idea about whether my interpretation of this statement is right, but it seems to me that what the long haired, bearded man (aka “the prodigal son”) is pointing to here is the attitude of gratitude.
For those who are grateful for what they have more good comes to them. And it works the opposite way around for all those people who just focus on what they don’t have, and their “poor me” stories.
Why am I rambling on about all this stuff and quoting Jesus of all people on a website about attracting women?!?
Well, perhaps a simple shift in your mentality can really help you to change things around and start to experience a bit more success. I remember a while back when I was trying to get my life together I’d read some self-help book or other, and one of the exercises in it was to spend a few minutes at the beginning of each day thinking about all the things that you’re grateful for.
I did this religiously, day in and day out for quite some time. I’d focus on even the most basic things and be grateful for them, like having clothes (even if they had holes in them) or having somewhere to live (even if it was a crap location).
What was interesting was that sooner or later I had better clothes and I lived in a nicer location. Coincidence? Maybe, but there does seem to be some kind of pattern at play here. That’s why all those people with the “glass is half full” mindset always end up on top despite adverse circumstances, and those “glass is half empty” guys can’t seem to get anywhere in life.
So, what about having women in your life? What if you don’t have any women in your life, you’re not good at meeting women and you feel like you’re at rock bottom? What can you possibly be grateful for? If you’re creative enough and you’re willing enough to abandon your “poor me” stories and search for the positives, you will find them.
-How about being grateful that you’re at rock bottom cause the only way is up?
-What about being grateful that you’ve been smart and honest enough with yourself to recognise that you’re not so great at meeting women so that now you can do something about it? There’s a whole lot of guys out there who are still in denial!
-What about being grateful for the knowledge that you can change things? Plenty of other people have!
-How about being grateful for having your mother and your sister in your life cause whilst they might not be potential partners they still represent all the many amazing qualities that women possess?
-How about being grateful for finding this website? Seriously! A lot of the information that can help you get things on track is here for free!
For the next two weeks try spending 5-10 minutes at the beginning of each day thinking about all the things that you’re grateful for. Drop the negative and embrace the positive, who knows, it might just be a turning point for you.
Want to get your dating life handled?
Sebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. Sebastian helps men develop the comfort and ease to express themselves with raw honesty. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, the Personal Coaching Course could be exactly what you need.
The mind creates what the mind thinks about. If you think positive, positive things will happen to you.
If you think that no woman is interested in you, you got to change this belief before you can obtain success with women. The trick is to do it gradually: go to a restaurant and have a little chat with the waitress, or go to a shop and say to the girl working there: “How’s your day going?” … They are paid to be friendly, so they will respond positively. This will trigger your subconscious mind with the idea that women are friendly to you.
In a next step you can go on the street and ask a girl for directions and then at the end say “Have a nice day” … She will react friendly to you.
And then as a next step you can ask some more questions and start a real conversation …
Gradually your subconscious mind is presented with all kind of situations in which women are friendly to you and interested in you, so over time you really will start believing that women are interested in you !
That’s how you build rock solid confidence. And indeed it all starts with thinking positive and being grateful.
God bless you man… I did the exact same thing and everything grew. people like me always see things in comparison and I compared myself to the best e.g that dude who has all the money and I didn’t compare to those below me e.g poor person with like no money living hand to mouth …I just became naturally grateful.. THANK GOD 🙂