The opposite of what you’ve heard right!?! Most dating theory never stops banging the “you’re the prize” drum. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t entirely disagree with that mindset. It’s definitely important to realise your value and self-worth, in doing so others will realise your value too.
However, too often there’s a certain arrogance attached to the whole concept of “being the prize”.
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Guys start to be way too uncomprimising and even begin to act plain wierd, asking questions like, “why didn’t she show up on time? I’m the prize!”, and then trying to figure out a punishment!
Furthermore, when the whole focus is on you being the prize there’s no room for any appreciation of the woman. And guess what? All any woman really wants is to be genuinely appreciated! Women crave to be authentically recognised as being special.
It’s actually very easy to recognise a woman for being special in some way, if you’re paying attention that is! However, if your focus is soley on yourself and how to project yourself as “the prize” then it’ll be a lot more difficult, and you might just completely miss the boat.
Women are the most amazing creatures on the planet, on some level you surely recognise this. What’s more, each one is absolutely unique in many ways. If you pay attention you’ll notice a lot of amazing things about the woman you relate to. In doing so, and in expressing just how you feel about these amazing qualities you’ll make that woman feel very special indeed.
You’ll make her feel like “the prize” that she is. As a natural consequence of this she’ll be filled with positive emotions when she’s around you and be compelled to spend more time with you.
I’ve noticed and genuinely complimented women on a whole spectrum of things. This ranges from things as superficial as the way a woman walks to things such as the way a woman radiates softness and femininity.
Since my focus isn’t on myself and “being the prize” I tend to have my focus on the woman and I see if there’s anything I really like about her, and if there is I appreciate her for it. And if I don’t find anything it’s a pretty good indication that this isn’t the right woman for me and that I should move on.
Like most things when it comes to having a happy, healthy dating life it all comes down to being genuine. Once you’ve become exhausted with the high wire act of trying to be “the prize” you can relax into the simplicity of appreciating the woman that you’re with.
What you might find, unlike when you apply most dating theory, is that it doesn’t feel forced or unnatural. In fact it’s the most natural thing in the world!
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Sebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. Sebastian helps men develop the comfort and ease to express themselves with raw honesty. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, the Personal Coaching Course could be exactly what you need.
” All any woman really wants is to be genuinely appreciated!” – well, so do men. And typical dating theory tends always to put the emphasis on appreciating the woman, hence why typical pua theory forces us to think the other way around…. Just sayin, yo’!
Why do we need to think the other way around? Did anyone ever stop to consider that a high value man doesn’t need to put so much emphasis on “being the prize” because he is already intrinsically aware of his own inherent value, without ever really needing the verbal confirmation of this.
I am more than happy to put a woman on a pedestal because no matter how highly I place her I know that I am worthy of being her equal. There is never any need to frame an interaction in such a way as to make me look more valuable than her, which is what a lot of dating theory advocates.
The very idea that the context of the interaction has to be framed in such a way that the man should be perceived as the prize comes from a place of low value. It is based on the assumption that the man doesn’t already recognise his own inherent value.
If you truly recognise your value, if you truly recognise that you are equal to any woman, then why not praise her? After all, she is special right? Otherwise, why are you entertaining engaging her in intimacy?
Recognise your value and recognise hers too. And praise her for being special because that’s what an authentic man would do!