It’s so common to latch on to the idea that one day we will arrive at a place where we can say, “That’s it! I’ve achieved everything!”. We believe that one day we will have the perfect career, the perfect group of friends, the perfect lifestyle, etc, etc.
The list goes on and on.
However, the truth is that no matter what we achieve we will never feel that we have arrived at our final destination. That’s why after the initial satisfaction of achieving a goal that we’ve been striving for there is often a feeling of emptiness.
In fact, the true joy is to be found in the process of growth that occurs during the striving. After achieving a goal there is a little satisfaction and a little relief but there is no more striving, no more growth, and hence little more joy.
“When you’re green you’re growing. When you’re ripe you rot.” -Ray Kroc
That’s why it’s so important to enjoy the process of life, as opposed to focusing on an end goal and assuming that the achieving of this is when you’ll find happiness. The very idea that happiness lies somewhere in the future contains within it the assumption that happiness cannot be now!
Typically, when one goal is achieved another goal supersedes it. If this doesn’t happen then stagnation occurs. And so, in the absence of stagnation, all there is is the continual process of life. Within this there is constant change and constant growth. If you cannot learn to enjoy and appreciate this process then you are rejecting the nature of life itself.
Of course, all this applies to women and the ability to relate to them. There is no end goal. There is never a point where you will totally understand women or possess the perfect ability to relate to women. Life goes on and on, and as it does you learn more and more about women and their way.
And as with most things in life:
“The more you learn the more you realise how little you know” -Socrates
This might sound a little disappointing to some but I wouldn’t have it any other way. The beauty of women is in the mystery. The more and more you realise how little you know about women the more you become astounded by the mystery and the magnitude of the feminine.
“Mystery is more than half of beauty, the element of strangeness that stirs the senses through imagination” -Richard Le Gallienne
There’s nothing wrong with having the goal of becoming better at understanding women or the goal of becoming better at relating to women. In fact, these are good, worthy and fruitful goals. However, don’t forget that there is no final destination but rather a never ending unfolding.
Have your goals and achieve them. Set new goals and achieve them too!
Enjoy the satisfaction of setting a target and hitting it. But don’t forget to set new targets. Don’t forget that the process goes on and on and on. Don’t forget that this is the only way to keep growing. Don’t forget that you will never have a total understanding of women.
Enjoy the process. Enjoy the process of striving from one goal to the next to the next to the next. Enjoy the process of opening up more and more to the mystery of women.
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Sebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. Sebastian helps men develop the comfort and ease to express themselves with raw honesty. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, the Personal Coaching Course could be exactly what you need.