One of the most common mistakes we make as individuals is to seek happiness outside of ourselves. We believe that external circumstances can make us feel complete, so we run around trying to acquire things that will make us happy.
The one “thing” that seems to promise the most happiness is an intimate relationship. Men and women alike, often feel that if they could have the perfect relationship it would complete them. However, most of us usually overlook the fact that if you’re seeking happiness through someone else then it means that you’re not happy by yourself. And who wants to be with an unhappy and unfulfilled individual?
If you’re seeking happiness from someone else then you’re going to be stumbling through life with an air of desperation, constantly seeking fulfilment from others. With nothing to offer but everything to gain you become like a vampire, seeking to suck the happiness out of everyone you meet.
People, and particularly women, will become repelled by you because beneath all your communication they can feel your neediness sucking the life out of them.
Contrast this with someone who already feels fulfilled, without the need of anyone else to make him feel full. This kind of man has nothing to gain from others, and instead he has everything to offer. Rather than stumbling through life with a wanting look on his face trying to acquire happiness from those he meets, this kind of man glides through his day with a sunshine smile and shares what he has to offer with the world.
Being happy and fulfilled is very attractive. A happy and healthy relationship is one in which two people share their happiness with each other.
“Being happy, making happy -this is the rhythm of love” -Nisargadatta
When you find happiness within yourself then sure enough someone else will show up to share their happiness with you.
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