So you think you’re a hit with the ladies? In fact, you don’t think it you know it! You know what to say, when to say it and how it should be said. You’re acutely aware of every curve ball a woman can throw at you and you know exactly when to swing and when not to. When the times right you hit the home run! And you’ve got more than enough notches on your bedpost to attest the fact that you’re a certified P-I-M-P.
There might not be too many people who would openly describe themselves like this but there are more than a few who think it. The thing is, if you think of yourself as a ladies man or something of a player than you’re, to continue the baseball analogy, not actually batting in the big leagues. You see, anyone who has constructed an identity for themselves like this has, on some level, got something to prove.
Now, before you go backtracking and protesting that you yourself have nothing to prove, just pause for a minute and consider this situation: a guy friend asks you, “when was the last time you had sex?”. Would you be embarrassed, or feel the need to explain yourself in any way, if you had to tell him it was a year ago?
If the answer is anything other then, “no, not at all”, you have something to prove! In fact, this goes for whether you think you’re a ladies man, or if you’re not but you aspire to be one. And if you’re in the latter category then pay attention, it’ll be much easier for you if you never end up actually creating this identity for yourself.
The problem with believing that you’re a ladies man is that you constantly feel that you have to live up to it, you constantly feel that you have something to prove. You need to be having sex all the time, and with different women, and at least a few other people need to know about it. If you can’t see any problems with all of this then you really are lost in your own arrogance. So here’s something else to think about; so long as you are trapped in this cycle you will never, ever have the chance to be with the most sensual, most radiant and most alive women. Why? Because they do not care for neediness one iota, and that includes the need to prove yourself.
A woman who truly knows herself and her own value will be steadfast enough not to compromise for anything less than a man who feels complete. She’ll be able to smell neediness from a mile away, and will dismiss any man who possesses it with the bat of an eyelid. Why is it that this type of woman tends to be the most radiant and alive and attractive? Because she’s totally in touch with herself and her fullness, hence she doesn’t have to compromise for a man who doesn’t feel the same about himself.
If you want to settle for a monotonous cycle of assisted masturbation with a variety of women who are not in touch with their fullness then by all means be a ladies man, and know that it’s a self created identity that binds you to nothing more than this. If however you’d like to welcome the possibility of meeting a woman who will truly add fuel to your fire and make your heart sing, then abandon any ideas of being a player. Instead, focus on being a real and authentic man, a man who knows his own wholeness. An authentic man needs not and wants not, he has nothing to prove, not to anyone else and not even to himself.
Want to get your dating life handled?Sebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. Sebastian helps men develop the comfort and ease to express themselves with raw honesty. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, the Personal Coaching Course could be exactly what you need.