A woman might be best likened to the ocean; shimmering and open, deep and all-encompassing. This is part of her beauty, part of her majesty and attractiveness. A man is better likened to a ship; directive and purposeful.
This does of course mean that women, more often than not, like it when a man takes the lead. When a man takes hold of the steering wheel and steers things in the right direction a woman doesn’t have to leave her natural state of openness.
Just as the ocean doesn’t choose to move in any particular direction, nor does a woman revel in having to be directive. When a man takes the lead a woman can relax into her naturalness.
This is, to a large extent, obvious and intuitive. However, it’s not uncommon for a man to find himself confused by the way a woman will sway back and forth. This often results in him losing his ability to take command and be directive. Sometimes a woman will change her mind three or four times in as many minutes, or she’ll express herself in a way that communicates several opposing desires.
It is at these times that a woman most needs you to be clear and decisive and take the lead. It as at these times that she most needs you to embody your masculine nature of being purposeful and directive. But often this is not your response. Often her wavering causes you to waver also. It causes you to be hesitant and unsure, and to begin to lose direction.
Every time she sees that you have lost your direction, she loses faith in you a little. And conversely, every time she sees that you can remain steadfast despite her wavering, that you can still take control of the ship and steer it in the right direction, she begins to trust you a little more.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t take the way that she’s feeling into account, or that you should always stick with a particular decision no matter what. What I’m saying is that you shouldn’t lose your ability to be directive and to keep moving things forward.
A woman wants to be able to trust you and be guided by you, but first you must show that your capable of steering her in the right direction without wavering.
I’ll leave you with a funny text exchange between myself and a Spanish girl I’ve been on a couple of dates with…
Her: Hi you!!! I didn’t forget about you, but I just arrived home and I’ve just got my period… I’m feeling really shit. I’m not sure about going out but I’m really sorry cause last weekend I couldn’t make it either. You’ll hate me. Understandable. If I’m feeling better in a while I’ll call u later x
Me: There’s only one cure for feeling really shit on your period… Spending a little relaxed time with a man that’s going to make you feel good. Put a tampon in, get dressed and I’ll meet you in Stratford in an hour x
Her: Hahahaha! Ok, I’m there in one hour x
This example is a little blunt and comical, but it does demonstrate that when a woman is caught in two minds it’s best to take the lead. Later in the evening I asked her about this text message and she said she found it funny and that it was what she needed to hear.
Always try and allow a woman to rest in her natural, open and oceanic state. But don’t allow her wavering to let you lose direction or get lost at sea! Keep steering the ship in the right direction and it’ll be better for the both of you.
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Sebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. Sebastian helps men develop the comfort and ease to express themselves with raw honesty. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, the Personal Coaching Course could be exactly what you need.