I just got back from New Zealand where I’ve been for a couple of weeks for my brothers wedding and an all-too-short venture around the South Island (hence why I’ve been a little slow updating the blog).
New Zealand has some of the most spectacular nature and landscapes your likely to see in all the world and it was a special experience just to be there, see it, touch it and taste it.
Travelling across the globe and acquiring some new experiences got me thinking about the kind of guys I CAN’T help. That’s right, suffice to say, I can’t help everybody!
When a guy comes to AMW who has a decent job, a good circle of friends, some interesting life experiences and the courage to see past his ego, I know for sure I can help him to improve himself and develop his dating life to whatever level he wants to take it.
And to be honest, this represents the majority of guys who come to AMW. Most guys just need a little help with the final piece of the puzzle; being able to put forth their best self in those more trying social circumstances and intense male-female interactions.
However, once in a while I get someone who is lacking the relevant life experience to really take things to the next level. Sometimes it’s someone who’s lacking a solid peer group, sometimes someone who isn’t fulfilled in their work, and sometimes someone who just hasn’t stepped outside the normal everyday humdrum of day-to-day life.
The bottom line is, before you can even think about having a relationship with an amazing woman, you need to GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!
Doing a job you hate, never socialising and spending the majority of your time numbing yourself with video games and television is no way to go about living. Before you know it you’ll be looking back on a life wasted and a whole lot of unfulfilled dreams.
If I really think about the most fascinating people I know, they’re people with depths of life experience, people who follow their passion, travel the world, explore their hobbies and interests to the fullest and really experience everything life has to offer.
If I think about the least interesting people I know, they’re people who prefer safety and comfort, people who live vicariously through television and the stories of others rather than going out and experiencing the fullness of life directly for themselves.
The fact is, second hand knowledge is no knowledge at all and adds nothing to the depth and richness of your character, something Robin Williams makes very clear in this speech from the film ‘Good Will Hunting’…
So, before you think about getting your dating life handled, it’s well worth examining how full you’re life experience is. Here are four areas well worth considering…
Are you doing work your passionate about?
This doesn’t necessarily mean your day job is the work you’re passionate about. If your day job is what you love to do, that’s awesome! However, if it isn’t but it’s tolerable, pays well and affords you the time to invest in something that you really do love, that’s critical.
Too often guys are doing a job they hate that leaves them tired and depleted with no time to invest in what they love. Spending time doing what you love is absolutely fundamental for your self-esteem and the richness of your life experience.
Needless to say, having a variety of interests and hobbies makes you a more interesting character and gives you more experiences with which you can relate to others. So long as your exploring avenues of interest you’ll be adding new strings to your bow and living a fulfilling life. As a consequence, you’ll be becoming a more naturally attractive man.
In the absence of exploring the avenues that interest you, you become uninteresting, lacking the depth of character to really sustain the interest of a woman. If your not investing time in your hobbies and interests, find the time to make that change. Your life experience will be all the richer because of it.
Spending time with friends and peers is a chance to share, develop your social skills and add depth to your life. Sharing life experiences with friends and peers and acquiring new life experiences together is an absolute must if you want to be happy.
“Happiness is only real when shared.” -Christopher McCandles
The more time you spend sharing yourself with friends the happier you’ll be and the better equipped you are to share yourself with a woman. Guys who don’t socialise enough suffer chronically from a lack of social skills, lead less happy lives and are all around less attractive.
Do you have an active social life and close friends to share your time and experiences with? If not, make it your primary focus to get this area of your life fixed.
Travel is essential to escape the normal, everyday humdrum of life and acquire experiences that will add new dimensions to your perception of life and give you real depth.
“Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer.” -Unknown
If you’ve never escaped the city or country you live in, pack your bags and do it tomorrow. If you haven’t done much travel you haven’t really exposed yourself to the kind of new environments that your personality can embrace and expand in. The more you travel the more you soak up new experiences and broaden your horizons.
Leading a well-travelled life means you’re better equipped to relate to new people, both in terms of sharing your experiences and understanding different life perspectives.
In summary, the more depth with which you experience life the more depth your character acquires, and the more opportunity there is for deeper connections in your dating life.
First get a life, then get a dating life 😉
Want to get your dating life handled?Sebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. Sebastian helps men develop the comfort and ease to express themselves with raw honesty. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, the Personal Coaching Course could be exactly what you need.
[…] to be honest, this represents the majority of guys who come to AMW. Most guys just need a little …read more Source: Authentic Man Within – Dating Coach London February 7th, 2013 | Tags: Authentic […]
This is actually a great article.
I wish more men would read this before deciding to ‘date’.