The more that you take responsibility for your life, your work, your relationships and your ability to attract women, the more that ‘lady luck’ will be by your side, helping you at every step of the way.
Conversely, the more that you desperately look to external circumstances to provide for you and fail to take personal responsibility, the more that your experience will seem to conspire against you.
This is something that, too often, goes unrecognised. In my own personal history I have seen this pattern play out both for better and for worse.
When I first recognised that I needed to get my dating life fixed, I took full responsibility. I committed to going out a few times a week, approaching women and learning to express myself more powerfully. On top of this, I took up a job in face-to-face fundraising that I knew would polish my social skills day-in and day-out.
Consequently, I met a work colleague called Vince who was the biggest ‘ladies man’ I’d ever come across. Not only that, but his style of interacting with women flew in the face of all the dating advice around at the time. Vince was totally honest, upfront and unashamedly direct with women. It was Vince that inspired me to find my own unique way of expressing myself directly and authentically, rather than get lost in a plethora of bad dating advice.
Would I have met Vince had I not taken responsibility for my success? No, because I never would have taken up the job where we met. You may say this is a coincidence, but it’s more than that. The fact is, when you commit to taking responsibility for your success you open yourself up to all the resources available to help you achieve that success.
Later in life I set up Authentic Man Within, and at different stages of it’s development I’ve experienced the opposite trend. I expected that things would fall in my lap, that other people would help out and that the business would take off with very little effort on my part. In fact, this only resulted less and less favourable life circumstances and less and less external help. The more I looked for help, the less I got it.
In more recent times I’ve returned to being personally responsible, and in doing so the right circumstances have arisen to aid me. The more personally responsible I become, the more the right resources and the right people show up to lend a hand, and they do it willingly.
If you think about your own personal history I’m sure you’ll find a similar trend. Perhaps even consider the people you know. Isn’t it always the case that those who take responsibility seem to have everything going in their favour? And don’t those who fail in this department seem like they just can’t get a break?
The most personally responsible guy I know is my good friend Sam (you can read more about Sam here: About Us). He wakes up at 5am every morning and works damn hard to make things happen. And guess what, people literally email him asking if they can intern for free to help him out with his projects!
I can think of more than a few less-than-responsible people too, who shall remain unnamed. They adopt the ‘poor me’ mentality to life and constantly look towards external circumstances to make up for their lack of responsibility. Needless-to-say, this leaves them no closer to achieving anything and that external help just never shows up.
The bottom line is, whatever attitude you put out into the world will resonate with those around you.
If your putting out a positive and active attitude that is striving toward a definite goal, this will resonate with other people who will be drawn into helping you achieve your outcome, people who have willingness and the know-how to do so.
If your putting out a passive and undirected attitude, this will resonate with those around you too. And consequently, the people around you will become lackadaisical and unsupportive.
Let this be a lesson to you. If you want to make your dating life work, YOU have to take full responsibility. Recognise clearly that your success, or lack of it, is down to you. Don’t try and rely on any external circumstances, instead take total responsibility for making things happen.
The great paradox of it all is that when you stop looking for help, it might just show up! Become the CEO of your own life and take responsibility for your happiness, your work, your relationships and your ability to attract women.
If you don’t, you can be damn sure no one else will!
Want to get your dating life handled?
Sebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. Sebastian helps men develop the comfort and ease to express themselves with raw honesty. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, the Personal Coaching Course could be exactly what you need.