Having been out and about doing a good bit of coaching recently, which involves me doing demonstrations for clients and also watching clients interact with women themselves, I’ve been reminded of a few things.
Allow me to share…
1) Having a huge grin on your face makes ALL the difference!
A big smile communicates SO much! It’s disarming, friendly, demonstrates a sense of comfort and ease, provokes curiousity, creates warmth, increases physical attractiveness, and so much more!
Having a huge smile is the polar opposite of having a panicked look on your face that makes women want to run away from you, which is, unfortunately, the face most guys pull when they’re trying to chat up a girl.
Of course, the problem is, it’s hard to smile when you’re nervous. I appreciate that and it’s okay to be nervous, nervousness should be accepted and not resisted. But you can at least, in the midst of your anxiety, try and see the funny side.
As you make your way over to her, imagine you have a huge, big-swinging donkey dick flopping around in between your legs (or anything else that might amuse you). Allow your silly side to take over and make yourself laugh just before you start talking to her.
If you can create a genuine smile just before you start talking she will receive your presence with infinitely more openness. Give her the big-swinging dick smile and see how she responds.
2) Being comfortable with shit conversation is the path to success!
Guys try waaaay too hard to make the conversation some kind of masterpiece, not realising that most successful interactions aren’t actually that smooth.
For anyone experienced in the field of chatting up women it’s recognised that conversations are often relatively dull, have awkward moments, miscommunications and silences, and that’s okay!
In fact it’s being okay with all this stuff that allows the space for you to say something witty or express something direct and sexual later down the line. If you put too much pressure on yourself to create the perfect conversation you’ll never make it beyond the first difficult moment.
Become comfortable with being uncomfortable! This says a lot more about you than spouting a series of incredibly well worded sentences.
Next time you’re talking to a girl try and shift your mindset from, “I need to say something of value,” to, “Everything I say has value simply because I’m saying it.” It’s this latter mindset that makes for successful interactions.
3) Being a little bit persistent is often the difference that makes the difference.
More-often-than-not she isn’t going to fall at your feet when you say “Hello!” In all probability, she isn’t even likely to help you carry the conversational load early in the interaction, attracted or not.
This is why it’s absolutely crucial you don’t give up at the first sign of what you perceive to be disinterest.
If you stop a girl in the street and she says she’s “kind of” going somewhere, don’t crumble, this is normal. Respond with something along the lines of, “I understand, I’m going somewhere too. You know you’re really (insert appropriate observation), I bet you (insert appropriate assumption).
Once the conversation is flowing she’ll often magically find she has more time.
It’s not uncommon that women are a little shy or unsure in the early stages, but this isn’t really a sign of disinterest. She just needs you to be the kind of guy who can take on the role of being sure and forthcoming.
Rather than spending your time wondering whether she’s interested, focus on moving things forward. If she’s still standing there talking to you and hasn’t walked away, that’s a pretty good indicator that she’s, at the very least, curious about you.
In summary, smile as if you’re hung like a donkey, be comfortable talking rubbish, and be just a little bit persistent.
You might be surprised just how far those three tips alone can take you!
Want to get your dating life handled?
Sebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. Sebastian helps men develop the comfort and ease to express themselves with raw honesty. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, the Personal Coaching Course could be exactly what you need.