Sexy, confident, grounded women who are in touch with what they really desire are not looking for boys, they are looking for men!
So, what’s the difference?
The fundamental difference between a boy and a man is that a boy fleets around aimlessly looking for surface level amusement and entertainment, whilst a man moves purposefully in the direction of his deepest desires.
Think about it, think about what a boy in a fair ground is like. He runs around from ride to ride searching for fleeting excitement, searching for the next bit of fun aimlessly. In a child, this is actually beautiful, the innocence of a boy running from experience to experience not knowing what he really wants.
However, in a man, this kind of trait is repulsive. A man has had a lifetime to find himself, to know himself, to understand his deepest values and desires. If he is still fleeting around aimlessly he will never capture the attention of a strong, confident and grounded woman.
His aimlessness only serves to communicate that he hasn’t found himself, he doesn’t know himself, he hasn’t lived in alignment with exploring the deeper aspects of himself.
Rather, he is searching for fleeting experiences to distract him, to distract himself from knowing who he truly is, and from moving purposefully in the direction of all the things his heart knows to be right and good.
This kind of boyish man will only ever really appeal to women who are unsure of themselves, who don’t really know what they want, who are a little insecure. And even in this case, the attraction will wear off pretty quick, for there is nothing so off-putting as a boyish man who hasn’t really embraced his strength and masculinity.
Boyishness manifests in a number of ways in a man’s life.
On a surface level it might manifest in the willingness to eat sugary foods and disrespect the bodies desire for health and vitality, or even in playing video games relentlessly and not attending to one’s needs for more significant face-to-face contact with real human beings.
On a deeper level it can be found in the form of running from one meaningless sexual encounter to another without ever embracing the vulnerability of deep connection, or by moving around from job to job in search of money without ever really finding/exploring one’s true passion or life purpose.
Of course, to an extent, there’s nothing wrong with just a little of these tendencies.
Sugary foods, video games, casual sex and money all have their place, so long as these things don’t dominate the deeper desires for health, social contact, deep connection and finding a life with purpose. It is in this latter case that one is still operating like a small boy, unsure of himself and insecure in his ways of being.
The transition from boy to man must begin with becoming conscious and aware.
First, we must become conscious and aware of our avoidance strategies, all those things we do to avoid or escape our deeper truths, and we must begin to let go of them.
Second, we must make the conscious effort to look inside ourselves and see what our deeper needs are, our deeper values and our deeper desires (I can help you with just that).
Once we know what we value most deeply, what our bodies, hearts and minds truly desire, then we must start to realign our actions to live in accordance with this. To start to move purposefully in the direction of all that we know to be right and good in our hearts.
When this happens we start to move away from being the little boy fleeting around from place to place, and we start to find ourselves embracing the powerful and masculine man we were always meant to become; a man with purpose, self-knowledge and integrity.
Truly, this is when we become attractive to the kind of women we have always yearned to be with, and they gravitate towards us effortlessly.
Stop hiding away, stop running around in circles and escaping yourself, fleeting from experience to experience.
Turn back, look inward and find yourself.
Align with your hearts deepest desires.
Embrace your purpose.
Become a man!
Want to get your dating life handled?
Sebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. Sebastian helps men develop the comfort and ease to express themselves with raw honesty. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, the Personal Coaching Course could be exactly what you need.