The way that you relate to women mirrors the way you relate to the world!
Write that down in your diary.
Make a note of it in your phone.
Let it imprint itself in your mind.
And most importantly, never, ever forget it!
Why is this so fundamentally important?
Because when you learn to relate to women in a more powerful way, when you create the internal strength and stability to meet all the challenges that women throw at you, you’ll be able to kick ass in life!
Think you have some evidence to the contrary? Allow me to clarify.
I’m sure you’re aware of a few guys who seem to do pretty well with the ladies and at the same time they don’t have a job, look like shit and seem to be flailing in just about every other area of life.
Look a little deeper! How many of these guys are in happy, healthy, sustainable relationships where everyone’s needs are met on the deepest levels?
Yeah, that’s right, I’m not talking about the charismatic loser who has a string of one night stands and leaves a trail of destruction behind him in the desperate attempt to nourish his floundering self-esteem.
That’s called NOT relating to women in a powerful way! And, of course, it is mirrored in the rest of his life. He is unable to meet the challenges of work, health, wellness and offering his unique gifts to the world.
What I’m talking about is being the kind of guy who can meet all the challenges women throw his way, for the betterment of himself and for the betterment of all the women he relates to.
There’s a whole lot that goes into that, but it is built upon a foundation of courageousness!
Courage is the key that unlocks the myriad of doors.
Courage unlocks the door to walking over and striking up a conversation with any woman, any time, anywhere.
Courage unlocks the door to communicating with purpose, presence and power.
Courage unlocks the door to allowing one’s unique charisma and personality to shine through.
Courage unlocks the door to the openness and vulnerability that creates true connection.
Courage unlocks the door that looks beyond the ego’s false needs and straight into the hearts deepest desires.
Courage unlocks the door that allows a man to remain centred in the face of emotional storms from the woman he holds in highest regard.
Courage unlocks the door that allows a man to be humble in the face of conflict and to admit to his wrongdoing.
The list goes on!
Courage among men is sorely lacking in our society, and it starts with our ability to relate to women.
This is the steepest challenge, and the one that will dramatically alter all else. When we master this, an avalanche of change cascades over our lives, radically transforming the landscape for the better.
Being courageous with women is regarded by the vast majority of men to be the scariest of all challenges, so by virtue of awakening your courage in the most challenging area, it will be easily awakened in every other area.
If you can do the most difficult thing, you can do whatever is easier.
What makes me think that relating to women is the biggest challenge to a man’s courageousness?
Only that I hear it from every single guy I work with, all of my friends and everyone I’ve ever met.
In fact, the self-improvement guru and pioneer, Mr. Tim Ferris, recently starred in a TV show where he challenged himself to master a variety of challenging and frightening skills in a very short period of time. These included racing rally cars at speeds that kill, getting strangled and arm-locked in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, surfing huge waves, and even being able to cope in a scenario where he was kidnapped!
What did he find most scary? What was most challenging?
He confesses that the scariest challenge was one in which a dating coach encourages him to strike up conversations with women he’s attracted to!
And bear in mind, the act of striking up a conversation with a woman you’re attracted to is just a small challenge in comparison to the emotional storms that might rock you in the context of a deep relationship with a woman you truly love. It’s the tip of the iceberg.
So, what will it look like when you begin to access your ability to relate to women with more courage? How will that manifest in the rest of your life?
You find the ability to lean into the edge of fear and discomfort in every other area.
You’re able to withstand the pressures of your work with more ease, grace and flow.
You can embrace your desire to share your unique talents with the world, whatever they might be.
You have the capacity to love your family and heal the relationships that have been lacking in your life for so long.
You arrive at a point where you’re finally ready to follow your life’s purpose unwaveringly.
The fact of the matter is, you’re ability to relate to women with courageousness and integrity is a benchmark for your ability to thrive in life!
So, what should you do if you want to evolve and become more?
You should hone in on all the edges of your insecurities around women. Feel into those edges and lean beyond them. And just as you cultivate the capacity to lean into the edge of fear and discomfort in those areas, so will you cultivate courageousness in another areas too.
What are you scared of when it comes to women? What challenges you?
Are you afraid to express yourself with women you’re attracted to?
Are you scared of giving all of yourself to just one woman even if it feels right?
Are you insecure about humbling yourself in the face of deep connection?
Wherever your edges are, lean into them!
Lean into the edge of fear and discomfort with women and everything will shift. You’ll become more of all the good qualities you already have inside you, and you’ll let go of all the insecurities that aren’t really you.
Take it from me. Not only have I coached countless men along this path, I’ve walked it myself.
Relating to women with ever-increasing courageousness is a life-long challenge and one I continue with, but looking back I can see the changes.
From the moment I gained the courage to to strike up a conversation with a woman I was attracted to, I noticed a shift in other areas; a greater sense of comfort and ease in any and all situations. And up until this day, I can feel that the deepening of the fearlessness and vulnerability in expressing my love for my girlfriend instills a sense of groundedness in me that shines through with everyone I meet.
Lean into your edge.
Become more courageous in the face of all the challenges that women bring to your life.
Change the game!
Want to get your dating life handled?
Sebastian Callow is a personal dating coach for men in London. Unlike other dating services he provides a practical, real-life coaching experience that actually involves meeting and interacting with women in everyday situations. Sebastian helps men develop the comfort and ease to express themselves with raw honesty. If you're unhappy with your dating life and you're hungry for change, the Personal Coaching Course could be exactly what you need.
What a great article man! I really like your no-nonsense, grounded advice. Well done
Thanks for commenting Nomad, keep in touch.